Stupefied
by dalekchung
Summary: Alex swore that he wasn't ever going to be surprised by life again, but once again, life twists reality into something unrecognizable. He stumbles upon something strange – something that by all means should not be possible. ONE-SHOT


**Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider. I do not own Harry Potter.**

Stupefied

 _June 27_

If Alex Rider had learned one thing from his time as a spy, it was to always expect the unexpected. He obeyed by that rule, even though he was currently on a deserved vacation that Mrs. Jones, head of MI6, had promised would be undisturbed.

He hadn't done much on his vacation. Alex couldn't go anywhere without being recognized by some sort of organization that wanted to take over the world, so he was confined to his home. It was fine with him. Alex hadn't planned to do much except catch up on some sleep, which was sorely needed.

 _Brrriiing!_

Alex sighed from his place on his comfortable beige sofa. He frowned at the phone, which sat innocently on the kitchen counter. Quickly, he got up from his place, snatching up the phone and answering with a low growl of, "What?"

"Mr. Rider, your presence is required-" The cool female voice was familiar, and Alex found himself bristling.

"I'm on _vacation!_ Tell your boss to piss off," he snapped harshly, hanging up before the secretary had the chance to reply.

He returned to the sofa with the phone, tossing it haphazardly onto the other end. Almost immediately, it began to ring again.

"Yes?" Alex answered, laying down once more.

"Mr. Rider, there is something wrong with your bank account. You _must_ come in-"

"I'm on vacation," Alex drawled, annoyance seeping through his voice, "Jones promised me I wouldn't be disturbed-"

"It's important," the secretary promised, "Please come in immediately. A car has been sent to your location."

Alex wanted to argue, but the woman had already hung up. He scowled, throwing his head back. The seventeen year old was annoyed, but not surprised at the new development.

It was only a moment later that Alex heard a car pull up in the driveway, and he reluctantly picked himself up.

It didn't take long for the car to reach the Royal and General Bank, but by that time, Alex's irritation had spiked. He stalked into the building, glaring pointedly at anyone who was in his way.

"Up you go," the receptionist told him as soon as she caught a glimpse of him, "Not to Mrs. Jones' office. I believe she is occupying Conference Room Four for this meeting."

Alex gave her a quizzical glance, but didn't pause in his stride. Conference Room Four was on the second floor, and though Alex had been with MI6 for a couple years, he had yet to step foot in the mysterious conference rooms. The only places he was usually welcome in was his own office, Smither's lab, or Mrs. Jones' office. Not that he _liked_ hanging around Mrs. Jones.

Alex burst into the conference room – his signature move. At the head of the table, he noted that Mrs. Jones sighed with clear annoyance. A smirk made its way onto Alex's face.

He closed the door harshly and took in the rest of the scene. To say that he wasn't surprised would be a lie. Alex hated being surprised, but this time, he couldn't help it.

Every seat, bar from one by Mrs. Jones' right side, was filled with odd, wonky looking people. In one seat sat a gruff man with scars all over his face. He was missing an eye, but had substituted it with a fake one. It flitted around in its socket, making Alex slightly dizzy. He chose to look away.

They were all oddly dressed. It was like they had decided that it was Halloween and had decided to dress up as madmen. They all wore robes except for one woman who had bubblegum pink hair. A piece of wood also seemed to be in common with the people situated at the table, and Alex found himself snorting.

"You interrupt my time off," Alex's voice wasn't particularly loud, but it was heard by all nonetheless, "for this?"

Mrs. Jones didn't look amused as he took his seat beside her. She didn't answer and instead gestured to the television across the room. Alex caught the image of the Prime Minister, rubbing his head as a towering, frankly scary, man stood behind him, acting as a body guard.

"Prime Minister," Alex greeted with a cheeky grin and wave, "Nice to see you again."

The Prime Minister didn't seem too happy to see the seventeen year old. He ignored the teen and spoke to Mrs. Jones and the rest of the table instead, "I refuse! You are already risking hundreds of your own. Why drag in us too?"

The man with the mad eye responded with a throaty snarl, "Have you been listening to us? Your people are _not_ safe – whether it be in 'our' world or not."

Alex listened patiently, waiting to catch onto the conversation. He glanced at Mrs. Jones expectantly.

"Hold on," one of the men, a shabby, sickly looking man protested, "Is no one going to mention the fact that a mere school-boy, no older than Harry, is here for this?"

Alex met the man gaze coolly, his temper flaring. He wasn't sure who this 'Harry' was, but he decided that he didn't like being compared to him.

"I can vouch for him," Mrs. Jones said authoritatively, "And so can the Prime Minister. Alex, meet some of the members of the Order of the Phoenix: Alastor Moody, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks ("don't call me that!), Minerva McGonagall, and Kingsley Shacklebolt – he's behind the Prime Minister-"

Alex followed her finger as she introduced every member, "What's the 'Order of the Phoenix'?"

A heavy silence blanketed the room.

Lupin was the first to break the silent, exclaiming indignantly, "He's a boy!"

"And you can trust me," Alex answered, cutting off Mrs. Jones from whatever she was going to say. "Now, tell me why I'm here before I decide to go home."

No one spoke.

Alex sighed and stood, turning away and having full intentions on leaving, when the woman with the bubblegum colored hair – Nymphadora Tonks – spoke loudly, "Oh, just tell him!"

When Alex turned back to her, he noticed two things right away. She was no longer sporting her pink, spiky hair and now had long, blue hair, which was coincidentally the color of Alex's shirt. The second thing he noticed was that the woman didn't have _human_ features anymore. Was that a _pig's snout?_

For the second time that day, Alex Rider was surprised.

* * *

 _July 27_

Alex had been sure he'd known _everything_ this damned world could offer. He'd been in every sort of situation imaginable, been through what no kid had ever dreamed of, and lived to tell the tale. He was proud to have survived based on pure wit, and he was sure that nothing could ever surprise him. Ever.

So when he had discovered the existence of magic, he had _naturally_ been furious.

It didn't help that those blasted wizards and witches deemed it hilarious when he decided to take a prompt nap on the conference room floor (translation: Alex had fainted).

He was now holed up in front of Number Four, Privet Drive, watching as a small family of three loaded their luggage into a tiny car.

"They're late," Alex growled under his breath to himself. He watched as a short man ushered the three into the car before they drove off.

Alex had wondered why the magic folk wanted his help. He was, according to one of the stiff order members, a 'muggle' that simply couldn't fight off the 'Death Eaters'. He made a face at the memory, gripping the gun in his hands tightly. Just because he was a 'muggle' didn't mean he was incompetent!

His orders were clear and simple. He was to protect Harry James Potter, even if it cost him his life. Alex was annoyed that Mrs. Jones thought he was some sort of sacrificial lamb, but he had agreed anyway. So for a whole, torturous _month,_ Alex had been camping out by Potter's house.

There had only been one incident in which Alex had had to act, and that was when a bloody _cat_ got too close for comfort. After that incident, there had been plenty of indignation, shouting, and general disgruntled emotions. How was he to know that people could turn into _animals?_

Alex watched the house and its surroundings carefully. Once Potter was in the air, he was none of Alex's concern. He had to concentrate on getting to the 'safe house' after that – wherever that was.

As Alex settled into a more comfortable position, he noted the movement inside the house and realized that he'd somehow missed the Order's arrival. He cursed himself for his blatant stupidity.

Sparks distracted him from his mental scolding. He turned to see more colorful sparks shoot up into the air. It was the signal.

Figures – Alex didn't bother to count how many – rose into the air. Frowning, he realized that some were on broomsticks, others were on some sort of weird horse-bat-winged creature, and there was a motorcycle with a side-cart.

With a soft guffaw, Alex melted into the shadows once more. It wasn't definite – Alex's mind was bound to change –, but it seemed that he loved magic.

Surprise.

* * *

 _August 1_

Alex had been staying with the Weasley family for a few days, and he still couldn't get over how hectic their life seemed to be. He was supposed to be an "extra line of defense" for Bill and Fleur's wedding, though he couldn't think of one thing he could do to help besides sweep up the dirt from the floor. Again.

Mrs. Weasley had welcomed him without any trace of distrust or prejudice, even after he had announced that he was a muggle. The motherly woman insisted on feeding him, an action that made Alex oddly choked up. He'd never known a mother, and this woman – someone he barely knew – was so willing to fill the void.

Mr. Weasley spent every moment he could with Alex, asking about plugs and other _fascinating_ muggle objects. The man reminded Alex of an overexcited puppy, and it was a nice feeling to know something that the all-powerful wizards didn't.

Alex had also become fast friends with Hermione Granger, who had also come from a muggle background. They had connected instantly over their thirst for knowledge and their similar interests.

Ron Weasley, one of the Weasley children, didn't seem to like him at all. It was easy to see why. Anyone could see that he liked Hermione except for the two in question. Ron often spent his time glaring at Alex and making snide comments to Harry.

Alex had gotten on fabulously with Ginny, Ron's sister. From their first meeting, she had made it obvious that he was an attractive boy and that they could be more than acquaintances. Alex smirked a bit at that. He had, of course, declined her offer. He was pretty sure that she only had her eyes on "the-boy-who-lived".

Harry, with absolutely no doubt, hated Alex, and he didn't seem to care whether or not anybody was listening to their arguments. Alex had the feeling that the boy didn't hate him because of who he was, but of who he reminded Harry of. It was also fairly obvious that Harry regarded Alex as competition for the younger redheaded girl.

Alex snorted a bit at that thought.

The others in the Weasley family — Bill, Charlie, Fred, and George – were nice enough, though Alex hadn't gotten the chance to talk to them, and he made sure to steer clear of Fred and George's pranks.

Alex was currently situated in the backyard, where Bill and Fleur's wedding was going to take place. He was invisible from his location. Well, not quite. Tonks had placed him under a "disillusionment charm", which made Alex appear to be a human chameleon.

Briefly, Alex wondered if there was some kind of law that prohibited wizards and witches from casting spells on muggles, but he quickly dismissed that thought. One of the members of the Order had said something about "laws being changed" due to a "bloody menace". Alex didn't even want to think about what that meant.

There wasn't really anything that Alex could do as he watched the guests filter into the yard, using their magic for every little thing. It was fascinating, and Alex was hit with a pang of envy that these people could simply wave a stick of wood and something could appear.

The ceremony was short and filled with predominantly crying redheads, but Alex found himself enjoying the peaceful moment. Everyone was happy and no one was dying.

It was almost as if Alex's thoughts had triggered some unknown curse. Something silver in a shape of a lynx had glided into the yard. Every eye was on it, waiting for something. Alex wasn't sure what.

"T _he Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."_

The voice that emanated from the lynx was surprising, and Alex found himself staring open mouthed at the silver creature.

Almost as soon as the message had been delivered, the guests had begun panicking. Alex stared at the scene as random people began _popping_ off, and other random people began _popping_ in.

"Get Potter!" One of the figures, clad in black, hissed as soon as he popped in. Alex narrowed his eyes, contemplating on how to take him down.

Jets of light began to fly everywhere, and Alex deemed it to be unsafe. He dropped to the ground, narrowly missing a jet of acid green light.

"Dammit," Alex cursed lowly, rolling away to avoid a person's foot.

"Well, well," someone sneered, directly above him. Alex looked up to see one of the black-robed men staring directly at him. His face was covered in a white, strange mask that gave Alex goosebumps. The man, though Alex couldn't see his face, smirked, "What do we have here?"

Alex looked down at himself in panic. He was completely sure he had been invisible a moment before, but now he was plainly visible in his muggle clothing. He stuck out like a sore thumb.

The man advanced, and Alex did only what was natural to him. The man never saw it coming. A well aimed kick, and his wand came clattering to the ground. Another punch, and he was out cold. It seemed that these magical folk did have a weakness. They couldn't fight hand to hand at all.

At his newfound discovery, Alex decided to plunge into the battle. Five crazy Death Eaters later, he found himself cornered by three of the masked men, their wands held menacingly at Alex.

"Uh-" Alex stuttered nervously, looking for any way to escape. When he found none, he put on his most charming smile, "Funny to see you lot here. I was just heading off to drink some… uh- drink some… Polyjuice potion!"

Alex smacked himself mentally. He had no idea what "polyjuice potion" was. He had heard Hermione mention it earlier.

"Polyjuice potion, eh?" One of the men grinned underneath his mask. Alex could see the way his eyes twinkled in a threatening way, "Now, why would you be needin' _polyjuice_ potion, eh?"

In unison, as if they had read each other's minds, the three raised their wands.

Alex acted on instinct again. He let out a hysterical snort of laughter and held his hands out, as if _that_ would stop the three lunatics.

 _Whoosh!_

Alex felt a powerful surge of… something unknown as he thrust his arms forth. He gaped as the three wizards were thrown away from him, as if they were mere rag-dolls. They crashed into a desert table.

Alex gaped at his hands, which had clearly been the source of the power. All around him, the others were engaged in battle, not sparing the poor little muggle-spy a second glance.

Was he dreaming? Alex forced himself to remain calm as he decided to test out the strange rush of power. His hand shot forward, and just in time too. One of the masked figures had been taking aim at him. A moment later, he spun out of sight too, landing in an unconscious heap.

"Bloody hell..." Alex breathed, staring down at his hands.

He was surprised, once more. No – he was Rider, the most normal bloke besides his espionage tendencies, could use… magic?

Alex barely had time to register that a red beam was heading right for his chest, but by the time he did, it was too late. The last thing he could remember before sinking into oblivion was that he was totally, absolutely, completely _stupefied._

* * *

A/N: _Unedited (due to laziness and the overwhelming urge to stuff my face with food)_

Hello! That was my first AR/HP crossover, and my first venture into writing for the Harry Potter fandom in general! I hope it wasn't too bad. Don't forget to leave a review!

-Alice ( _for general nonsense, follow me on twitter at dalekchung)_


End file.
